


Love You Goodbye

by DaineVin



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Angst, Character Study, I suppose, M/M, s1e18 Juno Steel and The Final Resting Place
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 15:14:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18694027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaineVin/pseuds/DaineVin
Summary: Peter knows Juno won't stay.





	Love You Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> A product of being awake at two am and way too many feels. 
> 
> I guess I was just thinking about Peter being awake the whole time and then this happened.

Peter Nureyev was many things. Actually, Peter Nureyev was more things than humans usually were and he’d worked for it. But one thing he wasn’t was an idiot. And he knew from the moment Juno Steel got out of that heavens forsaken tomb that he wasn’t going to leave Mars. 

Juno saw Hyperion city as an extension of himself, and Peter had seen that from their first meeting. He knew the people, and the streets, the buildings, the good things, and especially the bad things, and he knew them like they were a part of him. And Peter knew what it felt like to fill up the void inside yourself with the closest thing that gave you meaning. For Juno it was the city, and for Peter… Well. 

So when Juno insisted they return to Hyperion to treat his eye Peter knew. And he knew when Juno’s voice wavered as he insisted that he was sure he wanted to leave. And he knew it even when Juno said he wanted to leave with _him_. Even though Juno meant the words and it made Peter’s heart ache all the more. 

He knew and yet he tried to hold on, he wanted to reach out and soothe all the pain the detective was in, and he wanted to show him the wonders of the galaxy and make him see that it was all worth it. That _he_ was worth it. So he played dumb, he let himself believe that come morning the two would leave Hyperion city and the planet that failed to kill them behind. 

Peter Nureyev didn’t make love to anyone. He slept around with people, and some of them maybe believed the lie he was selling, but on his end sex was sex and nothing more, just an empty act with a nice little bow on top. It wasn’t bad, per se, not at all. It was as fulfilling as sex could get, but it was never making love. Juno, however, he made sure to worship. Because if he had one chance at it he sure as hell was going to make it count. He would feel the phantom touch of Juno’s fingers on his back for months. 

Telling Juno he was in love with him was Peter’s last line of offence. His final effort to make the detective stay. They were both fools, indeed. 

Juno wasn’t going to stay with him. No matter how much both of them wanted it he wasn’t going to stay and it was clear as day by the lost look in his eye. He’d made the promise thinking he was going to die, and there’s a liberty that comes with the promise of death. A barrier gets lifted between you and all your wishes and regrets and they come out in the open, confident that you won’t be there for long enough to make good on them. As much as he wanted to, Peter couldn’t blame him for it. 

He pretended to fall asleep. Juno’s gaze burned on his skin for what felt like forever. The dread coiling in Peter’s stomach was almost bad enough to make him sick. With every passing minute it got worse and worse as hope was desperately trying to push through to the surface. Maybe he wasn’t going to leave. Peter couldn’t afford to think like that. 

When Juno finally got up it took everything in Peter’s will not to reach out and grab him. But he didn’t because Juno wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready to leave his city behind, he wasn’t ready to see the stars and not to search for the red sand. So Peter listened as the other got dressed and left. He couldn’t help calling out one last time, a murmur that sounded pleading to his own ears but probably hardly reached Juno’s at all. 

The door closed. 

Peter opened his eyes. 

There’s a difference between knowing something would happen and it actually happening. He’d known that going against Miasma would have most likely ended badly, but he could have never prepared for the terror that drowned him as he begged for Juno to open that door. He’d known Juno would leave and yet it didn’t stop his heart from trying to tear its way through his ribcage because the hurt was too big for his body to handle. 

He reached out, Juno’s side of the bed was still warm. If he pretended hard enough he could imagine that warmth pressed up against him, solid. But as the minutes ticked the bed got colder and with it Peter’s composure began to crumble. 

The first sob that left his lips shook through his body like an earthquake, and nothing could’ve stopped what followed. He cried until his head hurt and his face felt puffy and swollen. Until his throat felt raw and rough and he ran out of tears. He curled into a ball, small and vulnerable like he hadn’t been in years, and waited for the sun to rise with only one question swimming in his haze filled mind. 

What was the point of being a thief if he couldn’t keep the things that mattered? 

Once the night gave way to the day Peter pulled himself out of bed, took a shower, put his clothes on and left. The receptionist gave him a cheerful smile which he returned as he checked out. He tipped the doorman on the way out. And as he flew up and away from Hyperion city he tried to see the beauty Juno saw in it. All he saw was the city that managed to steal away what he couldn’t.


End file.
